Thursday, July 5, 2012

Such style, such grace!

Well here we are my friends. Ok, so it's just me sitting here on my couch with grass stains on my pants and an ice pack on my know what I mean.

Where do I begin? At the beginning. I guess.... Well, it all started on a lovely morning in May. I was a month overdue and was finally ready to make my appearance in to the world..... What? Too far back you say? Well you're probably right. So I'll just say this: I'm fat, I've always been fat, I hate being fat. The problem is I also hate any form of exercise, and ice cream is a passion of mine. What can I say, it's true. Now that's not to say that I don't exercise sometimes (certainly not lately) and I do like my veggies- and have been eating a lot more of them lately. Yeah me! But with being an oxymoron, work, my son, my depression.....well you see where I'm going with this right? Lots of excuses to NOT exercise.

I recently got my bike a tune up and a new tire. (I've had the bike for 10 years now and never ridden it- pathetic I know) well, I got it ready to ride just when school got out for my son...he doesn't ride a bike. So, another excuse not to exercise fell into my lap.

My son started summer school last week. Today was the first day I had a couple of hours to ride that bike. So, having not ridden a bike in over 20 years I decided that my neighborhood was not the place to start. So I loaded the bike on the back of my car and drove the 1/4 mile to a quiet bike path. (said shame-faced). I got my fat reared on that bike -after I took it off my car of course- and wobbled off down the path.

I was very grateful that there was no one to see my pitiful start and I soon found my rhythm. I was feeling pretty proud of myself until I came around the bend and saw a woman running in the same direction. My first though- oh crap, can I pass her without falling over or running her over? Yes, my second thought (and much more troubling thought) - she going the same way, she's going to be watching my oversized fanny till I get around the next bend! Well, let me tell you, I rode that bike fast, and I rode it hard. She couldn't have been able to see more than a blur go by. Ok, so that's an exaggeration, but I like to think of it as poetic license.

I had to pass another woman, this time with a dog which heightened the anxiety. By this time I was also exhausted. (have I mentioned I don't exercise?- and it's only been about 3/4 of a mile- how humiliating). I was determined to press on and get some real exercise in though. Yeah me! Let's stop so I can give myself a pat on the back. Ok, I'm done, so let's get to the good stuff.

I rode a mile and decided I wanted to stop because I wanted some pictures. Have I mentioned it's been over 20 years since I've been on a bike? This includes stopping. Apparently stopping is harder than starting. A lot harder, at least for me that is.

Thank goodness no one was around at that minute, or 10 cause I went down like a ton of bricks. Twisted my ankle, , scuffed up my knee (well, my pants over my knee) and felt like the worlds epitome of style and grace. If there were judges there I would have been awarded a perfect 10 for the style and grace of that fall. I know I would have!

So I picked myself up and dusted myself off, after I stopped laughing at myself that is.... And decided 2 miles was a good start to this bike riding thing. Luckily when I got back to the car park I used the poles at the entrance to help me stop - I say luckily, not because I didn't want to hurt myself (although, I think that goes without saying) but because there was another woman AND 2 cyclists there. Oh the humiliation that would have caused.

Well, there's always tomorrow....or maybe next week to try again. Happy trails everyone.

1 comment:

  1. OMG - I am in stitches! thank God you aren't!!! HA HA..

    OK. Now that I am done laughing at you, if you dare to try to do this again, I'd love to go with you... also, the Mountain Division Trail (17 miles of paved bike trail) is right behind my house... you know... when we get beyond the two mile, fall down, lay around with an ice pack thing.... =)