Saturday, June 25, 2011

Stress relief

I've been dealing with stress for a while now, who hasn't really? But the question always remains, how do we deal with stress? I have never been one to manage it well. Binge eating ice cream and chocolate have been my favorites but I'm trying to change that.
A friend told me recently about bug zappers that come in the form of tennis rackets. I was too excited, they had them at the Christmas tree shop for 2.99. I bought 6 of them. I gave one to my dad, knowing he'd enjoy the novilty of them. I gave one to my hopefully-soon-to-be-ex as a fathers day gift, as my son refused to get him anything, and I actually felt bad there was nothing for him. The other 4? They are all for me baby!!!!
They require 2 AA batteries, then watch out! 1600 volts swinging in my arms!! Hahaha, they don't stand a chance. When you get one it makes a very satisfying SNAP! Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of bugs where I live. Now most people would say that is a good if not great thing, and usually I would agree. However, it is greatly dissappointing when you are on the hunt for bugs to zap. Again, going back to my last post, am I just evil?
I went to my camp today to be at a wonderful friends memorial service. It was great and sad at the same time, I had a lot of emotions and the perfect vehicle to get them out. BUT, all the bugs were paying their respects to such an amazing man by not being out to bother anyone today. What the heck?? Usually I'd be happy, but I wanted a killing spree. Hopefully next time I'm there they will oblige. I guess we should be thankful they were not out in full force. Would have made a hard day miserable for most, and I didn't bring replacement batteries. Rest in peace Howard, I'll zap as many as I can for you (and me).

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Funny or just evil?

So I've been thinking about my sense of humor, do others think I'm funny or do they think I'm sick, or evil, or just plain mean? The reason I ask is I recently decided to get a haircut for the first time in a year and a half. I was with one of my clients when I scheduled it. We got back to my clients house and I told both clients and the other staff about my upcoming cut I told them I was going to go bald. They were not impressed. One even asked me not to. She said "please don't go bald, you'll look like Sinead.". I pointed out that while the singer looked different when bald, but was still pretty. Her response was "But you won't be pretty anymore.". How sweet is that? But I still didn't alleviate their fears.
I told my mother the same thing, she seemed pretty upset with me. Anyway, I got my haircut yesterday, I love it, but i still want to find a bald cap to wear to work tomorrow. If I could find one I'd do it too. Is that wrong? Am I carrying this too far? I texted staff yesterday that she could just call me Sinead.
Now, this is only one example. I remember when I was pregnant I discussed names with my mother. She didn't like my choices. I on the other hand thought they were hilarious. Boys names were best: Laurence Maurice, and call him: Larry Moe Curry! Come on, that's funny, and clever. There was also Noah Moore Curry, and for an "out there" name: Thatsa Spicy Curry. I was really having fun. Mom threatened to rename my child. Is it me? Do I go overboard? This has been going all my life. I used to wind up my mom with the simplest of stories such as: making her think I failed tests when I had really aced them. So back to the question: do I go overboard? The answer is probably yes. But that's the way I roll baby! And I still want a bald cap! Most likely I'll go to work wearing a hat with my hair hidden. Happy styling!

Monday, June 20, 2011


Who is Pepper you ask?  She is the squirrel.  My son named her, I've watched her now for the last few days, she has let me get right up next to the window and take pictures.  My son thinks this is great fun, I'm not so sure.  Then there is the fact that Pepper has eaten an entire bag of birdseed in a week!  Maybe I could understand in the dead of winter when there is no other sustenance available, but in the summer?  Really?  I mean come on, she's just plain lazy.  She won't be so happy as she realizes that I won't be buying anything else for her to eat until late fall early winter.  Ha!  Hope she likes that.  But how will my son react?  Heaven only knows, he might worry about Pepper, or he might say: "I'm alright with that."  Time will tell.......

I'll post a picture if I can figure out how to........

Monday, June 13, 2011

My new friend

Who is my new friend you ask? It's the squirrel. There is a saying: God grant me the strength to change the things I can, the courage to accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I have the courage to accept the things I can't change. She has taken over the feeder, and unless I want to declare war, take a leave of absence from work, wear grease paint and spend every minute of every day laying in wait to take this sqiurrel on I must give in gracefully.
Yesterday when my hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-husband came to babysit our son I explained the whole saga of woman vs squirrel, then I left for work. 12&1/2 hrs later I returned home to hear all about how my hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-husband took up the mantle against the squirrel. When she came to her feeder my hopefully-etc. Went outside and started whacking the bushes in front of the feeder. What the hell? He has ruined my truce! Alas, all is not lost, maybe he's chased the squirrel away for good by traumatizing it too badly that she won't dare to come back!! Wait a minute......
As I'm writing this she is back, sneaking up to the feeder. As I said, I have a new friend......

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Poking squirrels

Today I put a post on facebook saying: "I poke fat grey squirrels with straws.". Now I thin from the responses I got and the resulting dialogue that people think I was just joking. I can assure you, I was not.
I have a bird-feeder in my living room window. I recently filled it for the first time I years. I did this with the hope of being able to watch birds at the window. Apparently, this is not going to be my reality. I have a big fat grey squirrel who has taken over the feeder. The first two times I rapped on the window and the squirrel ran for it's life! Kind of funny, however, she is smart. (I'm convinced it's a she because she's so smart). She quickly realized that it was only a noise and ignored me! So I started opening the window a couple of inches and slamming it shut. This was much more successful, it worked maybe 20 times or so. However, yet again she figured it out.
I had to take more drastic measures!! I have a vase on the window sill with duct tape roses. (yes, you heard right. I needed something to do while on medical leave.) anyway, I grabbed one. The stem is a straw wrapped in duct tape. When she arrived again I cracked open the window and poked her. I laughed so hard. Anyone who has seen a squirrel, knows how fast they can move. I've seen a lot of squirrels, but never one that moved this fast. She flew!! She was gone for about an hour. I don't think it was because I scared her, I think the fright was only a momentary thing. No, she left to prepare herself. When she returned I was ready, I had my straw in hand, window cracked, and ready to poke. She was also prepared. She jumped on the bird feeder, I poked, she poked back!!! I was stunned, who the he'll did she think she was? Did she have any idea who I am? How dare she. We spent over a minute fighting. Every time I'd poke, she would swipe at the straw. I did get her
to leave again, however I think I have to give up the fight, she's too smart and bold. I guess it's time to learn to enjoy watching fat grey squirrels at my
window. They need to eat too right? And they're kind of cute...... We'll see.......

Monday, June 6, 2011

I hate vomit

So my son went to a high school students graduation party yesterday. From which his father got him home after bed time. Also let him over eat (3 hamburgers, several types of chips, soda, and goodness knows what else) not that his father will admit this.
Anyway, I got home from work at 9:30pm, took a shower and went to bed. I was eager as I have the emergency cell phone for my company and it has been busy. I've gotten calls at 4am and calls an hour after I've gone to bed, and all manner of times in between. So I was happy to climb into bed and fall asleep, and I did, quickly too. I wish I could now tell you that I had a great sleep and woke rested. Unfortunately, this was not to be.....
I was woken 1&1/2 hours after I fell asleep, at midnight, by my son being sick in the little bathroom that adjoins our rooms. I got up quickly and went to him. I cleaned him up, as he was covered in well, you know what, he told me he was sick on his bed, being half asleep I started towards his bed in the dark to clean up the "sick". Well, this is the part where you should stop reading if you hate vomit as much as me. Still reading? Ok, but you've been warned.
I took a step into his room and stepped right into a big puddle of "sick". It was like being on a slip-n-slide. In bare feet!!! I was ready to be sick myself. Once I finally got off the ride, I started cleaning everything up.
Once this was all taken care of, I brought my son to my room to sleep with me. Not in an Oedipal way, just to keep an eye on him and to be close if needed. Although I did pray that he wouldn't be sick in my bed. I have a queen size bed, shouldn't be too crowded right? That's what I hoped, it was fine at first, he was solidly on his side, and I was partially in the middle as he likes to "crowd me". We would have been fine if that's how we stayed, but I finally drifted off. I awoke to find myself clinging to the very edge of the bed like a spider monkey facing away from my son. It was then I realized why I woke: I was being kneed and kicked repeatedly in the ass by my son. He was sound asleep while doing this.
Is this a subconcious act? Is he seeking his revenge for having to eat fruits and vegetables? Probably not. I think it is his retribution for not getting his Webkinz the other day. Heaven help me. I gardened yesterday at my clients home, and for that I have muscles that I never knew of yelling at me when I move, but on top of this, the best of the best, is that for my concern and kindness for my son and his well being, my ass hurts when I sit too. I tell you, some days it doesn't pay to get up, or go to bed. Till next time......

Saturday, June 4, 2011


My child has been hounding me to get him another webkinz. I keep saying no and he keeps trying to explain to me that he NEEDS it for the website. He can still play games, but his full membership has expired, and he NEEDS it!!!!!! He can't live without it!!!! I think he'll wither away to nothing if he doesn't get it, and NOW!!!!!!!
OMG! Driving me crazy! I try to explain that I don't have the money, he has too many already, all his stuffed animals attract dust mites and they are all over the toys AND he has a severe allergy to them. Will he listen? Of course not, he tells me I can give my friends 2 of his toys and then he'll still be down a toy. How do you argue with that? I've been telling him for months that he has too much and we need to get rid of some stuff. Smart kid.
He is the child that whines everytime we go to the store and I don't buy him something. So needless to say, I try to avoid taking him shopping with me because he whines a lot. This morning we returned bottles from our house and my parents house. (they hoard their bottles) we got $14 back. I gave my child $2 for helping me at the redemption center. He was upset that I wouldn't spend the rest on a webkinz!! Aaaarrrrghhhh! He cried all the way home, saying he only wants this one thing so "What the heck?" why won't I get it for him? He'll even give me the $2 to help. I've shattered his world, he can't survive without it, sobbing as if the world is ending. Then, 10 minutes later he calls my mother to play together on the webkinz web site, laughing and it appears as if we've made it throu this crisis...... But later today, I'm sure I'll be asked why I can't just buy him a webkinz, because he really needs it and can't survive without it. Having forgotten that he enjoyed himself without it for well over a year now.
Yesterday it was a build-a-bear he needed, today a webkinz, what will tomorrow bring? Heaven knows. But I anxiously await tomorrows battle......