Help! I'm peeling

So, remember that sunburn I got almost 2 weeks ago? Yeah, that's the one- I had a raccoon face for a couple of days and couldn't wear a bra for longer. Well, last Thursday, (a week after the burn incident) I finally started to peel--right before I started to blister, I know right? What the heck!

Anyway, I was so happy to be peeling. It's my favorite part of getting a burn. I know that burning is really NOT good for your health and all that, but when I was young, my best friend and I would lay out to get a burn in the hopes that we would peel. Then we would get together and peel each others backs.

It surprises me how many people are completely grossed out by this practice. Cause I've got to tell you, I LOVE to peel skin. It's so satisfying, especially when I get a large "sheet" to come off at once, and it feels great having it done too. A little like a light back scratch, a little like a tickle too.

I texted my friend: "Where are you, I'm peeling!!!". This caused my friend a great deal of confusion as she read "where are you, I'm peeing!!!". See? Very different statements. When we cleared up the confusion it made much more sense to her. Alas, she was not able to help. So, while at my parents home I enlisted my mom to peel me. My father was incredibly disgusted. For the last few days I've been instructing my son in the art of skin peeling. He'll get the hang of it in no time. Soon to be peeling large swatches of skin in a single yank.

Is this wrong? Teaching my son to do this? Will Clarice soon be after my son? Ok, probably not. I mean he's not demanding I "puts on the lotion" so I think we're ok, at least for now.

Chocolate bonbon

This is a story about a boy and a girl, how they fell in love, and got engaged to be married this pushing me into a mental breakdown.

How does that work you ask? Well, my friend asked me to be in her wedding. (I think she felt obligated since she was my maid of honor) I was thrilled for her, really I was. Being in love and pledging yourselves to each other is a beautiful thing. I truly believe that, even being a little jaded from my own.

Well, next I heard about the wedding was when my friend told me she had picked out the bridesmaid dresses. She was beyond excited. Even told me that it was perfect and would flatter everyone's body type. This put me at ease, as I'm very self-conscious about my body. Then she showed me the dress. Really? Flatter everyone? Is she high??? At least it was a beautiful color: dark chocolate brown.

The rest of it? Form fitting and strapless! Need I say more? I mean come on. My figure is round. Who honestly thinks form fitting and strapless looks good on round??

Thus my nervous breakdown.... This was February and the wedding was scheduled for October. Guess it was time to stop eating till the wedding.

A few weeks later she asked me if I had ordered my dress, everyone else had. So I went, ordered and paid for this beautiful and horrible gown. A month later I was told it was in. I put off picking up the gown for as long as I possibly could. My friend called me every 2 days asking me to please please please pick up the dress.

Then I got the call from said friend saying she called off the wedding.. I went to David Bridal and tried to get my money back. I mean, they were still in possession of the dress. They knew it had never been worn, but they refused. They told me the bride needed to ok the return. She called them and they still refused to give me a refund. They did however, offer to exchange the dress for another formal gown. Seriously? I am such a casual girl it isn't funny. I don't dress up for anything. Ok, well I'll make the effort for weddings and funerals, but other than that? I don't go anywhere I need to dress up. I get peed on, thrown up on, clothes ripped at work. I'm dressing for comfort with a change of clothes in the car!!

I brought the dress home. It's still hanging in my closet 5 years later.....

They eventually worked through their issues and got married a year and a half later. By then I was not where I wanted to be as far as weight (when was the last time I was? That's what I want to know) is concerned. I bowed out of the wedding party, but happily agreed to sing for them during the ceremony. It worked out for the best. If I had been in the wedding I would have been the chocolate bonbon rolling down the aisle.

Lets re-visit stalkers.

Just a quick note about stalkers.  No, I haven't heard from my "hand-me-down stalker" in a while and I suppose I should be happy about that.  Any way, I'm trying to pay it forward.  My friend (the one who gave me her old stalker) called me the other day and while telling me she felt almost like she was stalking an old high school classmate by reading her blog, that she was giving me an early Christmas present: she was stalking me on Facebook and blogs.  Yeah!!!!  I have a stalker!  OK, so admittedly she's not a creepy stalker, more of a warm and fuzzy, insightful and caring stalker, but isn't that the kind you'd want to have anyway?  I'm so happy, I now have a real stalker and a creepy hand-me-down sort of stalker who I haven't heard from in a while.
So what does this have to do with paying it forward you ask? While talking to a another friend (yes, I have more than one.  SURPRISE) I told her the stalker story and when she expressed disappointment in not having one of her own I promised to stalk her on the phone and on Facebook.  See? I can be nice if I want to.......