Sunday, April 29, 2012

Dating profile

I like to think I'm a realist. I have been kind of getting to know this guy, (see post about guy I'm stalking) we talk, flirt, and joke. Have been for a few months now. The problem is whenever we try to make plans they fall through for a variety of reasons.

I am definitely enjoying this, being interested in someone again, the beginning stages of getting to know someone and dating... what I'm NOT enjoying is the fact that I'm hitting my sexual prime and have no one to share it with. (well, maybe I have someone but the timing keeps getting screwed up {pun intended}). All I think about is sex, let me tell you, not always convenient.

While talking this over with a friend she suggested that I put an ad in the Pheonix or Casco Bay Weekly. I've also been told by my brother I should try online dating such as E-Harmony. I don't know how i feel about this, I mean we all hear stuff about how dangerous it can be, plus I really don't have the time or resources to go out on first dates all the time until I meet Mr. Right, or at least Mr. Right-Now.

All this aside, what the heck would I do about a profile? I mean I can't think of too many men who are interested in a fat middle age woman, divorced (well, soon to be- hopefully by June 7!) with a special needs child? When pointing this out to my friend she told me she would write my profile and call me "voluptuous". Ha! I laughed so hard I almost peed a little, as well as couldn't breathe. That is NOT a word I would use to describe me. I am round. The only curves I have are the rolls, that make up my roundness. Talk about false advertising!

At least I have my battery powered friends to "help me out" since I've got a feeling I'm going to be alone for quite a while yet. Alas......

Friday, April 20, 2012

Curse my family genetics

My family has always had "certain issues". I had always hoped and prayed to have skipped these genetics. I still pray that my "issue" is only a temporary problem because I've been run down and sick, but I fear this is not the case......

Yesterday, and again this morning as I coughed away (thanks to my wonderful chest cold) I peed a little. I was horrified. I mean, I'm not even 40 yet. I shouldn't be having incontinence issues! I mean, you watch the commercials- Whoopie Goldberg (sp?) had those commercials for the 60+ years talking about when you sneeze or cough. How can this apply to me already? Next thing you know I'll be having accidents when I pass gas!! Oh the horror of my prematurely aging bladder!!!! I guess I really will be investing in Poise.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

The truth about chest colds

This post is not really about the truth about chest colds. It's about the progression of MY chest cold.

For those of you who read my other blogs, you may not know this about me (because I'm so shy and modest. Yeah, right) but I really hate to be sick. I'm better with serious illnesses, or recovering from major surgeries. When it comes to a cold or a minor illness- I'm a cry baby. I feel like crawling in bed and having everyone wait o. Me hand and foot. This is obviously NOT going to happen since I live alone with an autistic child, but I still want it, so I whine about it.

Anyway, back to the progression of my chest cold. All this coughing has done a number on my voice, when I can talk that is. My normal voice went away. (that's ok, I'm not a fan anyway) and in its place was the voice of a phone sex operator. ( Not that I'd have a go at that profession, but I had the voice for it, and that's ok with me). The sad thing is, that voice didn't last as long as I would have liked. Now, I'd like to say that's because I was getting better but alas, I started developing the voice of an old man who smokes 5 packs a day. Not my shining moment.

Well, I think I'm on the mend, not only because my chest feels a little better, but because I have a sexy voice again. Wait, this time I have a sexy man voice. Ah well, I still sound like a man, but at least it's a sexy man right?

I'm sexy and I know it.......

Monday, April 9, 2012


Every year I make a calendar through snapfish. They are a wonderful on line company that stores all my pictures "somewhere" for free. All I have to do is buy something once a year.

This is easy for me, I like taking pictures, scrap booking (although I haven't done this in a while), make cards and other art stuff. I like to craft, what can I say? It's my crack.....

Anyway, back to the calendars. My hopefully-soon-to-be-ex just called me asking about the calendar. See, now that we are no longer together, and I didn't make him one, and don't take his picture anymore I didn't put his picture on his birthday. So, he calls asking me why everyone else in MY family has their picture on their birthdays but he has a picture of storm clouds. Hahahaha!

Why does he think he has that picture? Really? Did he want a rose? A sunset? For me to get on his Facebook page and pay to have a picture of him to be printed? I think not. I don't hate him anymore, but this calendar isn't for him. The only reason there is even a acknowledgment of his birthday is because of our son.

Anyway, I told him there was no significance to the picture, it was just a picture I liked. (and it really is a picture I like). Does he really need to know that although it is a good picture there is a relevance to the storm clouds? Nah, let's not cause more storms than necessary. ;~)