Dating profile

I like to think I'm a realist. I have been kind of getting to know this guy, (see post about guy I'm stalking) we talk, flirt, and joke. Have been for a few months now. The problem is whenever we try to make plans they fall through for a variety of reasons.

I am definitely enjoying this, being interested in someone again, the beginning stages of getting to know someone and dating... what I'm NOT enjoying is the fact that I'm hitting my sexual prime and have no one to share it with. (well, maybe I have someone but the timing keeps getting screwed up {pun intended}). All I think about is sex, let me tell you, not always convenient.

While talking this over with a friend she suggested that I put an ad in the Pheonix or Casco Bay Weekly. I've also been told by my brother I should try online dating such as E-Harmony. I don't know how i feel about this, I mean we all hear stuff about how dangerous it can be, plus I really don't have the time or resources to go out on first dates all the time until I meet Mr. Right, or at least Mr. Right-Now.

All this aside, what the heck would I do about a profile? I mean I can't think of too many men who are interested in a fat middle age woman, divorced (well, soon to be- hopefully by June 7!) with a special needs child? When pointing this out to my friend she told me she would write my profile and call me "voluptuous". Ha! I laughed so hard I almost peed a little, as well as couldn't breathe. That is NOT a word I would use to describe me. I am round. The only curves I have are the rolls, that make up my roundness. Talk about false advertising!

At least I have my battery powered friends to "help me out" since I've got a feeling I'm going to be alone for quite a while yet. Alas......

Curse my family genetics

My family has always had "certain issues". I had always hoped and prayed to have skipped these genetics. I still pray that my "issue" is only a temporary problem because I've been run down and sick, but I fear this is not the case......

Yesterday, and again this morning as I coughed away (thanks to my wonderful chest cold) I peed a little. I was horrified. I mean, I'm not even 40 yet. I shouldn't be having incontinence issues! I mean, you watch the commercials- Whoopie Goldberg (sp?) had those commercials for the 60+ years talking about when you sneeze or cough. How can this apply to me already? Next thing you know I'll be having accidents when I pass gas!! Oh the horror of my prematurely aging bladder!!!! I guess I really will be investing in Poise.

The truth about chest colds

This post is not really about the truth about chest colds. It's about the progression of MY chest cold.

For those of you who read my other blogs, you may not know this about me (because I'm so shy and modest. Yeah, right) but I really hate to be sick. I'm better with serious illnesses, or recovering from major surgeries. When it comes to a cold or a minor illness- I'm a cry baby. I feel like crawling in bed and having everyone wait o. Me hand and foot. This is obviously NOT going to happen since I live alone with an autistic child, but I still want it, so I whine about it.

Anyway, back to the progression of my chest cold. All this coughing has done a number on my voice, when I can talk that is. My normal voice went away. (that's ok, I'm not a fan anyway) and in its place was the voice of a phone sex operator. ( Not that I'd have a go at that profession, but I had the voice for it, and that's ok with me). The sad thing is, that voice didn't last as long as I would have liked. Now, I'd like to say that's because I was getting better but alas, I started developing the voice of an old man who smokes 5 packs a day. Not my shining moment.

Well, I think I'm on the mend, not only because my chest feels a little better, but because I have a sexy voice again. Wait, this time I have a sexy man voice. Ah well, I still sound like a man, but at least it's a sexy man right?

I'm sexy and I know it.......

Calendar

Every year I make a calendar through snapfish. They are a wonderful on line company that stores all my pictures "somewhere" for free. All I have to do is buy something once a year.

This is easy for me, I like taking pictures, scrap booking (although I haven't done this in a while), make cards and other art stuff. I like to craft, what can I say? It's my crack.....

Anyway, back to the calendars. My hopefully-soon-to-be-ex just called me asking about the calendar. See, now that we are no longer together, and I didn't make him one, and don't take his picture anymore I didn't put his picture on his birthday. So, he calls asking me why everyone else in MY family has their picture on their birthdays but he has a picture of storm clouds. Hahahaha!

Why does he think he has that picture? Really? Did he want a rose? A sunset? For me to get on his Facebook page and pay to have a picture of him to be printed? I think not. I don't hate him anymore, but this calendar isn't for him. The only reason there is even a acknowledgment of his birthday is because of our son.

Anyway, I told him there was no significance to the picture, it was just a picture I liked. (and it really is a picture I like). Does he really need to know that although it is a good picture there is a relevance to the storm clouds? Nah, let's not cause more storms than necessary. ;~)

Bucket list

So I guess I can add "BEING" a stalker to my "other bucket list".

There is a really nice/very cute guy where I get coffee. I happened to stop here a while back because it was on the way to where I was taking a client. I usually stop at other coffee shops, well I DID. Now I find myself deliberately going out of my way to get coffee from his store.

He is very nice every time I see him. I think in reality he is just being a great server, but in my mind he's flirting with me and we might get married. :)

When I walk in, I am immediately looking for him, if I spy him, I quickly look away so he doesn't realize I'm stalking him. However, he always will go out of his way to wave or smile. He has even been known to wave both arms around to get MY attention. Of course this is because he doesn't realize I'm just playing hard to get. I'm way ahead of him. Already seen him and I'm planning the wedding.

Ok, so I'm not really planning a wedding, and I'm not REALLY stalking him, but I do go to his store hoping to see him. I also am drinking A LOT more coffee than before. ;)

I think this morning he might have been trying to subtly ask me out, or at least feel me out as to whether or not I am interested (I AM! I say jumping up and down) but my stupid MS was acting up at the worst possible time. I didn't really catch his question about my weekend and instead of asking hi to repeat it I gave an answer that by the look on his face didn't make much sense. When I analyzed the conversation later I realized I may have made a mistake. Drat, drat, and double drat! Foiled again!

Hope he asks again, and yes, I blamed the MS! This is the first time in over a month I've blamed my MS for my stupidity so I'm long overdue!!

Straight face

It can be hard to keep a straight face when dealing with children. Especially when they are having a "hissy fit".

My son was in Spring Harbor for 6 weeks. He got a lot of help while there and has come such a long way. This does not mean I was under any delusions that he was "fixed" or "cured". I knew that this was just a jumping off point. They got us started and now it's up to us (hopefully-soon-to-be-ex and I) to keep the momentum going so he continues to grow in his ability to cope and be flexible.

I had a great honeymoon period, although it was only just under 48 hours. We went to the library. When he said that since he was only going to check out one book so I should buy him something at SAMS Club. I explained that I wasn't going to do that (other than the gum I was getting him). He proceeded to get very loud at the library. We got in the car where he then told me how it's been 5 months since we last got him anything. I reminded
Him that Christmas was less than three months ago, his dad got him a toy on Thursday, we took him out to lunch Thursday, took him out to eat Friday night with his grandparents, AND I bought several things for him to earn (3 of which he already earned for such great choices and behavior!) none of this was true according to him. He hadn't gotten anything in at least 7 months. (it keeps growing)
He then decided to talk to himself (so I could hear- for a reaction I'm sure) stating that he wants to die. He doesn't get anything from his parents. He doesn't get to eat ever, nothing to drink, no toys to play with, he never gets to go out, life is too boring to want to live, if his mom and dad don't stop being so rude to him he will get new parents who will be nice to him. Because my child who has a whole room dedicated to his toys and games and trampoline and therapy items has nothing. We won't even let him eat or drink. We are so mean! All he can do is lay there and stare into nothing.

Needless to say, this went on for about 20 minutes. The whole time I ignored him so as not get into the "debate" he so wanted. I did remind him that he lost a point for "kind and appropriate words". This is why the inside of my cheek is raw. I kept biting it to keep from laughing at my child.

We arrived home, he laid on my lap on the couch and cried for about a minute before he was back to being this amazing kid that came home from SH. I love my child and realize he struggles with things most of us find so easy and simple, but today I think he was just being a kid, and I'm proud of myself for following the plan, and especially for keeping a straight face.

Kids say the darnedest things......

Stand-up

Well, I did it. I even got some laughs. I really cut loose Thursday night. I had a few drinks, 3 and didn't even have to buy any myself. Yes, I was that good. Ha! After stand-up we went to OPT for karaoke. There was a drunk couple there who were trying to give me "material" for my stand-up career I finally had to stop them by telling them to relax. If I can find material at
The gynecologist office, I could find some at OPT.

The surprise of the night was not that I got some laughs, but that I did karaoke and was one of the worst ones up there. Those of you who know me know I actually have a lot of singing experience and training. So why was I so terrible? I blame the alcohol. I don't usually drink so it hit me pretty hard. (I also blame the alcohol for getting me up there to sing in the first place. )

This picture is from OPT, but not of me