Poking squirrels

Today I put a post on facebook saying: "I poke fat grey squirrels with straws.". Now I thin from the responses I got and the resulting dialogue that people think I was just joking. I can assure you, I was not.
I have a bird-feeder in my living room window. I recently filled it for the first time I years. I did this with the hope of being able to watch birds at the window. Apparently, this is not going to be my reality. I have a big fat grey squirrel who has taken over the feeder. The first two times I rapped on the window and the squirrel ran for it's life! Kind of funny, however, she is smart. (I'm convinced it's a she because she's so smart). She quickly realized that it was only a noise and ignored me! So I started opening the window a couple of inches and slamming it shut. This was much more successful, it worked maybe 20 times or so. However, yet again she figured it out.
I had to take more drastic measures!! I have a vase on the window sill with duct tape roses. (yes, you heard right. I needed something to do while on medical leave.) anyway, I grabbed one. The stem is a straw wrapped in duct tape. When she arrived again I cracked open the window and poked her. I laughed so hard. Anyone who has seen a squirrel, knows how fast they can move. I've seen a lot of squirrels, but never one that moved this fast. She flew!! She was gone for about an hour. I don't think it was because I scared her, I think the fright was only a momentary thing. No, she left to prepare herself. When she returned I was ready, I had my straw in hand, window cracked, and ready to poke. She was also prepared. She jumped on the bird feeder, I poked, she poked back!!! I was stunned, who the he'll did she think she was? Did she have any idea who I am? How dare she. We spent over a minute fighting. Every time I'd poke, she would swipe at the straw. I did get her
to leave again, however I think I have to give up the fight, she's too smart and bold. I guess it's time to learn to enjoy watching fat grey squirrels at my
window. They need to eat too right? And they're kind of cute...... We'll see.......