So today I turned 38 years old. I feel older than that half the time, and the rest I think I'm still 18. For as long as I can remember, I've haven't been excited about my birthday, it's just another day, like any other. I still feel like that, but it would be nice if the people I was close to and cared for could at least say happy birthday. I don't want any presents, I don't want people to make a big deal about it, but a simple happy birthday would be nice.
I don't have my birthday public on Facebook, because I don't want people to feel like they need to say anything. I figure the people that really matter, will remember on their own. How wrong I was. My aunt, and brother remembered sending me cards and even a phone call from my incredibly busy brother.
My parents remembered, but only parts of it. I know that sounds strange, but hear me out. My mother planned a birthday dinner for Friday night, (night before my birthday). I talked to her 2 days later and she was making plans for a birthday dinner Saturday night. I didn't bother reminding her about Friday night. I then talked to her Friday night and was told that she had my birthday card and present at her house, but she didn't know when I would get it because I probably wouldn't be coming out anytime soon. She just wanted me to know it was there and she hadn't forgotten to get me anything. Well my son was very excited to go to dinner at Granny and Papa's house so I reminded her about dinner. She had completely forgotten. She agreed that we could still come out but we would have to do take out and she would cook me something sometime but hadn't the foggiest as to when.. I don't know how you'd feel, but I felt special now.
Now comes the big day, I have to tell my son to wish me a happy birthday, I ask him what he wants to do because I would like to do something special today. He said " I don't know" I gave him several options: going to the beach, going to a park, flying his kite etc... He shot everything down saying "No" I offered to go see the animals at Smiling Hills Farm, or Flagherty's. Nothing. He decided on the Children's Museum, $75 and 2 hrs later, my son was happy, and I was broke. Don't get me wrong, I had fun knowing that he was enjoying himself, and the$75 was for a year pass that includes a caregiver as well as my son and I, so I have invested in a years worth of fun, adventure, and exploring for my son and a years worth of boredom for myself. I'm sorry, but after the first time I went there I can't get as excited about it again, but if my son is happy so am I. Right?
Moving on....I got phone calls from 2 of my dearest and closest friends this afternoon. Neither one remembered my birthday. I wasn't too disappointed, but one friend and I had talked about it yesterday!!!! I just had to say something, I am 2 1/2 months older than her. During our conversation I interrupted her and said "Sorry, I just have to say I'm now older than you." She had no idea what I was talking about so I said, "It's my birthday today, I'm now a year older than you for a couple of months." She immediately apologized for forgetting, I told her the only reason I mentioned it was because we had talked about it the day before. She had completely forgotten the conversation. I had to laugh. My best friend since high school has forgotten 2 years in a row now, this being the third.
I have another friend from high school whom I reconnected with a year and a half ago. She sent me an e-mail this evening apologizing for not remembering earlier. I had to laugh again, that she would be the only friend to remember was laughable. My hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-husband even got me a present ( "from my son" who refused to get me anything or make me a card this year) and my father-in-law cane to play with my son and the first thing out of his mouth was "Happy birthday, but you're son gets the present." Typical.
Please don't think I'm upset by friends not remembering, I'm the one who says to everyone "Don't make a big deal about it. It's only another day." But you know what? It's my birthday damn it! People can at least remember and say Happy Birthday.
Sometimes it's fun being a little contrary, winds people up. Like telling all my Red Sox fans I'm a Yankee fan. (Actually, I don't really follow baseball. I mean I'll watch a game if I'm with others and that's what they are doing, but I don't watch any otherwise. I'm lucky if I know any of the players name from any team. It just makes it a little more interesting. Shhhh, don't tell anyone. ;-) Besides, it's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to. Or stomp my feet, or laugh at all the foolishness around me.
I actually had a very nice birthday despite all the mishaps. To all my friends out there: I forgive you...