Thursday, June 7, 2012

I'm broken.....again

Well, this post could go one of two ways.....the men in my life or massages I've received from friends who are NOT LMT's.

Which way do I go, which way do I go....

I'm sitting on my couch as I write this in extreme pain. A friend of mine that I'm seeing decided he would be very kind and generous, he cooked me dinner (again- good cook) and after I had him sit in a chair as I gave him just a small shoulder/neck rub. Just to relax him, thank him for being so sweet, and I just like touching him. ;~}

Well, he decided to return the favor. How nice right? Well, um, it was nice of him. However, he is definitely more suited to chair massage than a relaxing massage. He used a deep pressure which was nice but uncomfortable at times (I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel better afterwards) anyway, my shoulders did feel better after, honest they did so I figured "huh, go figure...". Problem was, I forgot I have MS. I'm embarrassed to say its been years since I've had a massage and with that being said, I forgot about being mindful of pressure. I can't always have the pressure I like, and being as worn down as I've been over the last few weeks, I am now in so much pain I want to cry, or drink myself into oblivion (either works). I can't put my purse on my shoulder because it hurts too much, even my bra strap is painful- but lets face it, I can't go out in public without a bra.

So, the reason I say I'm broken again is because- if we go with massage, a friend and I used to get together and hang out, sometimes we'd give each other back massages, she has repeatedly broken me during this. I never understood why I would be in pain the next day till I got the diagnosis of MS.

If we go with the men in my life....... will probably feel like this is TMI. So you might just want to stop with the massage explanation.

OK, here goes......
There is a man I have been friends with for many, many years. We have flirted throughout the years, but I have always made it very clear that I was married and not interested in anything other than friendship from him. I even stopped all contact other than phone calls so he wouldn't overstep the boundaries that were firmly in place.

Well, after my hopefully-soon-to-be-ex left me, about 10 months after, I was feeling lonely and frustrated so when he became insistent, I said "sure, why not?". I mean I've always been very good at compartmentalizing different aspects of my relationships with family and friends, so I decided there was no harm in having a little fun right?

He came over one night, and we decided just to "fool around" no sex. We wanted to make sure that our friendship would be ok before we did anymore. Thank goodness for that! He is an older gentleman and from all his talk, quite the ladies man I was expecting something that wasn't there. I was blown away, how could he not know how to kiss???? Seriously? And on top of that, he definitely got carried away, I think he tried to bite my nipple off, twice!! So when all was said and done I had a bruise on my nipple and wearing a bra was painful for about a week. In fact my nipples still ache just thinking about it.

The good news? Our friendship is better than ever. Once I got up the nerve to tell him what he did to me we laughed for 20 minutes and were able to move on. So I have had 2 friends break me through massage, and 2 guys break me while trying to "get some".

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