Stand-up

Well, I did it. I even got some laughs. I really cut loose Thursday night. I had a few drinks, 3 and didn't even have to buy any myself. Yes, I was that good. Ha! After stand-up we went to OPT for karaoke. There was a drunk couple there who were trying to give me "material" for my stand-up career I finally had to stop them by telling them to relax. If I can find material at
The gynecologist office, I could find some at OPT.

The surprise of the night was not that I got some laughs, but that I did karaoke and was one of the worst ones up there. Those of you who know me know I actually have a lot of singing experience and training. So why was I so terrible? I blame the alcohol. I don't usually drink so it hit me pretty hard. (I also blame the alcohol for getting me up there to sing in the first place. )

This picture is from OPT, but not of me

Tonight

Tonight's the night!!! Yikes!

Poise pads

Well, I mentioned it a while ago, and the time has finally come. I am going to buy stock in poise pads.

Why you ask? Because I think I'll be having an accident later this week. Ok, so I don't need to buy stock, just one package of them.

I bet I've caught your attention now huh? Well, if you don't remember, or never read the post- I agreed to do stand-up at open mic night. Yes, I've completely lost my mind, I blame my friend, it's her fault. At least she's driving so I can get plowed cause I think I'm gonna need it. As well as the poise pads. I think I should buy them tomorrow, cause I already feel like I'm about to have an accident! Cheers!

And hey, wish me well and lets hope I can be funny!

Driving

As I start to learn my new car, I have been reminiscing about my history of driving.

I like to consider myself a good and safe driver, but I haven't always been able to say that about myself. My first experience with driving was on my grandparents riding lawn mower. The one and only time on it I drove it into their back steps. Not a shining moment.

My second experience was on the 4wheeler, again at my grandparents farm, which I drove into the electric fence. Amazingly I was allowed to drive it again, but stalled in out in the pasture. This is the part where I had to swallow my pride and walk the 1/2 mile back to the house and ask my grandfather to help me start it. (It was a pull start and I've always sucked at those.). This was the last time I was allowed to drive the 4wheeler.

Then I grew up, it was time to get my drivers license. It took me 3 tries. Yeah, still haven't gotten much better have I?

I finally got my license, and a car. It was a vw rabbit. I really did like that car. I even drove it right into the Falmouth High School. No damage to the school, a dented fender to the rabbit and mortification. I was mortified not only at having done it at all, but from having the music teacher, principal, and 20 students witnessing my stellar driving prowess. There are many other stories about the rabbit and maybe I'll share them another time.

From here, my driving record was pretty good, not a lot happened, I was just a VERY aggressive driver. The only other thing to point worth mentioning is that I have let my inspection sticker and registration lapse on occasion. The worst was actually with the van. T was due for a sticker LAST April. I have gotten a few tickets because of this, although strangely not over this last sticker. Go figure, lady luck was on my side this time.

When I learned I was pregnant it was like a switch was flipped. I became a VERY defensive driver. I get nervous now when people (like my soon-to-be-ex) stop close to my bumper and don't leave enough room. I am the one everyone is passing now. This doesn't mean I'm driving like my grampa, I'm not THAT slow. ;). I also drive everyone crazy when pulling out into traffic. I take forever and miss a lot of opportunities. I blame my MS for this. My depth perception is not what it used to be. Must be the MS right?

Isn't it amazing how we change as we grow up? I can see the changes in my driving alone. If this is where I'm at now, I'm terrified to think how embarrassingly slow I'll be in 20 years. How has your driving changed throughout the years?

Destined

Do you ever have that feeling you are destined to end up somewhere? Or with something? I have.

Years ago through my work I came to spend a lot of time in a horrible house. One where 2 of my clients lived. This house was so gross, that it was the main reason I transferred to a different home and client.

One year later, my former clients were moved out of said house, only for my current client to move in. Seriously??? There was a part of me that became convinced that in a few--or several---years my then husband (now still-hopefully-soon-to-be-ex) would put me in the car, put a blindfold on me, drive to this awful house and say: "Surprise!!! This is our new home!!". I'm still not convinced that down the road I won't meet someone who will surprise me with this house!

In addition, I have to say, I have always hates white cars. I'm not sure what the turnoff really is--- I just know I never wanted one. Then I ended up with a white van. For over 3 years! Don't get me wrong, I loved having the van, I just really--- no, REALLY--- hated the color. This week, my van died. I was sad, it has been dependable
For the short time I had it, and the space in it has been wonderful! I have had several people on the look out for me this week for a cheap and reliable second hand car. Everyone that has found one has stated that the car in question was white. Arghh! Am I destined for a white car as well as the horrible house? Does everyone share my aversion to white vehicles and therefore are trying to get rid of theirs?? Maybe.....

There is good news. While I still carry the thought I might end up with that terrible house (can't say enough how terrible it was) and a white vehicle~ it's not today!! I have a very nice house (if old and in need of some tlc) and and as of Friday, though I can't pick it up till Monday or Tuesday I am the owner of a RED car !!!!!!!! Yeah! While red is not my go to color for a car-- it's still a very nice shade of red and looks good. And best if all? It's not WHITE! Heck, I'd have been happy with pink, and that's saying something- as anyone who knows me knows I hate pink. But then again, pink is not white. Either way, I am very happy with the color. I am living in the present so I won't worry about my future home or vehicle for now. Enjoy your day.

***the feelings of white vehicles and their owners were not intended to be hurt. I recognize that some people like that color vehicle and that's a personal choice. Do what's right for you. And white vehicles everywhere- you are good enough, you just belong with an owner that can appreciate the wonder that is white.).

Funny story

I know I had a funny story to tell you, but due to recent events I forgot. Sorry, I'll keep you updated on my memory problems, and if I remember my funny story I'll post it then.

Till then........... Carry On..............

Naughty and nice?

It's been a while since my last post. For those who know, there hasn't been a lot of humor in my life for a while now. However, that's not why we're here.

Naughty and nice, what could I mean you ask? Well this is the time for the warning.

*********WARNING**********

***this post contains too much information for most peoples comfort level. If this sounds like you, leave this post NOW***

Still here? Ok, but don't blame me when you can't rewind time and forget you read this......

I made homemade gifts for friends and family this year. From scarves, to homemade vanilla extract to ornaments. My favorite present was the homemade sugar body scrubs. They are so wonderful that I made enough for me as well. I use it every night on my elbows, knees and feet. A co-worker told me she uses hers in the sauna, rubbing in over her whole body. Monday night I decided it would be a great idea to exfoliate and moisturize my whole body.

What I was not expecting (I don't know why) was that it is quite stimulating in the nipple area. So there I was surprised (ok, I admit it, pleasantly so) and a little frustrated there was no one there to share the experience with. Then I woke up the next morning with overly sensitive nipples, and the next day, and the next. I don't even remember using a lot of it.

So what have I learned? Sugar scrubs are a wonderful addition to my shower routine as my elbows and feet have never felt so smooth. I also now know that it can be a great addition to foreplay. If you decide to try it, I suggest that a little goes a LONG way. So yes, it's a little naughty and a lot nice......