I'm such a lightweight.

Im not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I such a lightweight when it comes to alcohol. I mean I guess it's good in some ways as it shows that I don't drink often and that's good. On the other hand, it's bad because it's just plain embarrassing when I drink.

Take yesterday for example: my son and I went to a friends house to visit and swim. It ended being an all afternoon/ dinner visit. We had a great time but when I was offered and accepted a half glass of wine all bets were off. My friend M was prepping a salad she asked me to watch her almost 2 year old son. Then she gave me the wine..... Now in my defense I hadn't eaten much all day and was out in the sun all afternoon.

I had forgotten how much work it is following a toddler around for an hour. ( don't get me wrong, he's adorable and I enjoyed every minute of it) but as I followed the active child around I sipped my wine. As he showed me around the pool looking for frogs I had to stop him because just walking half way around the pool made me dizzy as all get out. (what does that phrase even mean?)

I remember getting a drink at my sister-in-laws bridal luncheon and I was only 1/3 of the way through it when I had to stop because I was already flushed and would have to drive home.

I had one of those frozen premixed drinks a couple of nights ago. I only drank 1/2 (other 1/2 is still in my freezer) and while talking on the phone I couldn't stop giggling. It was embarrassing.

So I can't decide if it is better or not that I'm such a lightweight. What do you think?

Alcohol and depression don't mix

So, as you can guess from the title of this post, having some issues with my depression the last couple of days. It seems like about a months worth of days crap has decided to gang up on me at once.....

Well, I won't get into all that (or I'd be sitting here in Walmart for the next month) but I will say that feeling like this and drinking alcohol really don't mix. How do I know? When I got home last night I decided to drink.

Now, for those who know me, you know I don't really ever drink. I mean I didn't even drink at my brothers wedding. I don't like to drink. I don't like the feeling of being out of control.

So, it's kind of strange that I would turn to alcohol last night, but I did. So there's no use regretting it. What I did realize is that the combination makes me leak. Yes, that's right, you heard it here first. Alcohol and depression make me leak.

Well....they make my eyes leak that is. I cried all night. Were you thinking tears when I said leak? I doubt it. You thought this was going to be another poise pad blog.

I remember one of my first polarity sessions from an RPP. During the session she channeled my spirit guide. An owl. While she was telling me about what my spirit guide wanted me to know I started crying because it was so beautiful and right on the money. When the session was over I sat up and told her she had made me leak. I wish I had the words to perfectly describe the horror on her face, until I explained it was my eyes doing the leaking that is. Alas, I will probably never be able to adequately describe the moment but it will live on in my mind and make me smile when I think of it.

Stand-up

Well, I did it. I even got some laughs. I really cut loose Thursday night. I had a few drinks, 3 and didn't even have to buy any myself. Yes, I was that good. Ha! After stand-up we went to OPT for karaoke. There was a drunk couple there who were trying to give me "material" for my stand-up career I finally had to stop them by telling them to relax. If I can find material at
The gynecologist office, I could find some at OPT.

The surprise of the night was not that I got some laughs, but that I did karaoke and was one of the worst ones up there. Those of you who know me know I actually have a lot of singing experience and training. So why was I so terrible? I blame the alcohol. I don't usually drink so it hit me pretty hard. (I also blame the alcohol for getting me up there to sing in the first place. )

This picture is from OPT, but not of me